Not doing ...

much of anything

Busy Bee, like me … Photo by Nancy Hughes on Unsplash

First to my new subscribers: Welcome, all my stacks are free to read, so if you can’t afford to add another thing to your budget, believe me I know how it is. For all my paid subscribers: Thank you so much, I’m truly grateful.

Please consider becoming a paid subscriber. I appreciate every heart, every comment. And for my paid subscribers, your patronage helps me more than you know. I live on Social Security, and scrape by. Gone are my days of travel, splurging on anything, giving gifts to friends and family. Literally every dollar counts.

I’m still recovering from Covid. The Paxlovid might have been the worst of it, but the sapping of energy, lack of sleep, and the not doing ... much of anything, all contributed to my feeling depleted.

Today would normally be a choir day for me. I would get up, write my Stack for the week, have breakfast, go over my music, then head to rehearsal. Sundays are usually a busy day for me (it’s also take out the bins day, do my language lessons, write my poem, do some chores and more), but last week I was just beginning Paxlovid. This week, I’m exhausted, and sad. Not sad like depressed, sad that I’m not myself yet. I just want to bounce back quicker, and I’m guess I’m more impatient than I am sad.

I’m a person who keeps busy. It is who I have always been. I do a lot of things. And I do them because I enjoy them. I love writing, and making theatre, and sewing, and singing. This past week was a great theatre week for me, even though I couldn’t be there. My play A Window into Tennessee was performed this week at Holladay Park Plaza. Michael J. Teufel is the actor for whom I wrote the play. I was supposed to introduce the play, talk about how and why I wrote it, then stay after for the Q and A. Fortunately, Michael is the consummate professional and he was able to do it without me. They loved him at the Q and A, where he talked about himself as an actor, talked about our collaboration, and about Tennessee Williams. I received a terrific report the next day from the woman who coordinated the evening at Holladay Park.

I also had to prepare and submit a six minute video of myself talking about my new play (Dollface), I’m hoping to get a summer residency for. It would allow me to produce the play at a local theatre, and not as part of a festival but as a stand-alone production. It would not be a staged reading, but a fully staged play. I was too sick to memorize my script, but I was able to write something which I hope at least made sense. I also hope they understand that myself with Covid is not the same as my usual self. It took me two days to prepare for this because I had trouble focusing, had so little energy, and I found it hard to think, especially at first. To be fair, Paxlovid was keeping me nauseated the whole time.

Although I’ve committed to writing a poem a day for a year (the Stafford Challenge), I missed several days this week. I didn’t feel poetic. I tried writing about Covid, about Paxlovid, but it seemed like garbage to me, so I finally just stopped trying. When I feel better, I’ll do better.

Normally, I rehearse my music for the choir every day of the week. I warm up my voice, I work on memorization, I practice the songs. Not this week. Not once. I didn’t even listen to the music. In fact, I forgot about it for days.

Hopefully, the coming week will be better. After all, I’m here writing my Stack this week. I plan to go over my sheet music today and make any changes from last week’s rehearsal (we receive the changes whether we were there or not). I’m also hoping to do a bit more sewing on my Chanel-style jacket. (I have to finish the lining, that’s all.)

This coming week I’m supposed to attend two music performances on Wednesday. I have to prepare and send out Publicity Releases for my upcoming production in April. I’d love to have a photo shoot before then, but it seems unlikely. I have a writing group on Thursday night and a poetry group Friday morning. Normally, I would also have a couple of performances to review, but I don’t have anything scheduled. I’d love to get back to walking every day. Maybe tomorrow.

Are you one of those people who can just be? My sister does a lot of things, but she isn’t compelled the way I am. What about you? And feel free to share tips on slowing down.